a Joycean epiphany

In James Joyce’s Eveline, the protagonist, for whom the story is named, is a young girl who is planning on going away with her sweetheart Frank. She discusses her pained relationship with her father and how she is looking forward to going away to Buenos Aries with Frank. Eveline is very concerned with what others think of her. This is evident when she is concerned with what the women in her store will think when they find out that she has run away with Frank to an exotic land. She then imagines how life will be in Buenos Aries and how she will be treated with respect and love there because she would be married. Eveline writes two letters before she leaves to meet Frank at the dock; one to her brother that is still alive and one to her father. She writes them to explain where she has gone and why. As she is sitting with them in her lap we become aware that she had promised her mother that she would keep the family together and not leave. She promised that she would stay and be the center of the family and not allow anything bad to happen. With this memory, Eveline begins to second guess her decision to run away with Frank. While on the dock getting ready to embark on her journey to a new life with Frank, she suddenly becomes fearful and grasps the railing and as if paralyzed, does not move, and watches passively as Frank sails away.
I think that Eveline realized that this was not truly what she wanted and that she was fearful of what was awaiting her in the future. I think that with all of the loss, the death of her mother and her brother, and the abuse that her father put her through, Eveline was scared. She was scared to trust Frank to the extent needed in order for her to make this trip. She thinks “he would drown her” if she were to go. This means that she thinks she would lose herself and her present identity if she were to go away with him to his world and out of hers. Also, I think that she felt guilty. She made a promise to her dying mother that she would not let the family fall apart and if she was to go with Frank she would be letting her down. This epiphany that Eveline has is typical of the Joycean Epiphany: a character comes to a realization at the end of the story, however, it is usually a sad, cruel and disheartening one. As an audience, we want Eveline to get on the boat and start a new life where she will be respected and loved. When she stays behind we are left with a need for an explanation for her decision and yet, we never get one. Eveline’s epiphany is not one that we, as an audience, want her to have, but it is the one that she needed to have. She felt scared and realized that going away with Frank was not what she really needed nor what she wanted, for as he was sailing away, “her eyes gave him no sign of love or farewell or recognition.”