a little paragraph.

original: Langston Hughes' poem Harlem is an expression of what he believes happens to a dream that goes unaccomplished, and yet by comprising the poem with questions, he is inviting the reader to use their imagination to decide for themselves what exactly "happens to a dream deferred." In the first line of the poem, Hughes’ poses the question, “What happens to a dream deferred?” He then answers said question by asking more questions. He allows the answer to be open to interpretation; however, the questions that he poses have a negative connotation. He does this in order to guide the reader into a mindset that he wants them to have. He depicts a dream deferred as a heavy load that sags, a festering sore and rotten meat. By doing this, he is informing the reader that a dream deferred is, essentially, worse than having no dreams at all.

revised: In the poem Harlem, Langston Hughes uses questions to invite the reader to use their imagination to decide for themselves “what happens to a dream deferred?” “What happens to a dream deferred?” is the first question that Hughes’ asks his readers. He allows the answer to be open to interpretation; however, the questions that he poses have a negative connotation. He does this in order to guide the reader into the mindset that he wants them to have. He depicts a dream deferred as a heavy load that sags, a festering sore and rotten meat. By doing this, he is informing the reader that a dream deferred is worse than having no dreams at all.

reasons for the change: As discussed in class, I revised my thesis sentence in order to make it more concise. My original sentence was a little too wordy and the paragraph went in a different direction than I intended it to. By rewording the thesis and a few of the other sentences, I feel that it is now a more concise paragraph.